Hi! How are you?

I read the other day that the most common lie we (as North Americans) tell is when we respond to the question, "How are you?"  We typically answer without even thinking about it. We open our mouths and out comes the canned response ..."I'm fine."  "Good!"  "Never better!"

Having met a number of people  from other countries, I've had the opportunity to discuss this topic with some of them. One young man considered us to be fake and insincere because of our flippant auto-answer and another when asked that question took it as a genuine inquiry and launched a heartfelt answer. 

Since it's really just a pleasantry and we are not really looking for an honest answer why don't we switch up our question?

How about...

What is the last song you danced to?
What makes your heart sing?

What makes you smile at the end of the day?

What gives you energy?

When was the last time you were decently kissed?  (Ok, that's a line from a fun movie that doesn't really fit this situation but I thought I'd throw it in here.)

What makes you cry?

If you could change the world, what would it look like?

You get the idea.  And then the trick is that you need to listen to their answer. After all, if you aren't going to listen to their answer, why bother to ask it in the first place. 

Give it a shot. Although you may want to do it over a tall, decaf, cappuccino.  Because you may find a real answer to how your friends are.